" She knows that our ears are stopped; but the misery is there inside her, like a stone, and there’s no room for any other thoughts. She isn’t trying to make an appeal to our sympathies — she’s just shifting this big weight inside her from one place to another." Henry Miller, Tropic of Cancer, pg. 141.

Sebenarnya aku tak tahu yang mana lebih sakit.

Sebelum tu kita layan dulu lagi ni. Kalau tengah putus cinta harap kau skip lirik ni. Boleh mati ternganga. Aku takpe sebab aku dah lama dah mati HAHAHAHAHA!

"I Hate U I Love U"
(feat. Olivia O'Brien)


[Verse 1 - Olivia O'Brien:]
Feeling used
But I'm
Still missing you
And I can't
See the end of this
Just wanna feel your kiss
Against my lips
And now all this time
Is passing by
But I still can't seem to tell you why
It hurts me every time I see you
Realize how much I need you

[Hook - Olivia O'Brien:]
I hate you, I love you,
I hate that I love you
Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you
I hate you, I love you,
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her

[Verse 2 - Gnash:]
I miss you when I can't sleep
Or right after coffee
Or right when I can't eat
I miss you in my front seat
Still got sand in my sweaters
From nights we don't remember
Do you miss me like I miss you?
Fucked around and got attached to you
Friends can break your heart too,
And I'm always tired but never of you
If I pulled a you on you, you wouldn't like that shit
I put this reel out, but you wouldn't bite that shit
I type a text but then I never mind that shit
I got these feelings but you never mind that shit
Oh oh, keep it on the low
You're still in love with me but your friends don't know
If you wanted me you would just say so
And if I were you, I would never let me go
I don't mean no harm
I just miss you on my arm
Wedding bells were just alarms
Caution tape around my heart
You ever wonder what we could have been?
You said you wouldn't and you fucking did
Lie to me, lie with me, get your fucking fix
Now all my drinks and all my feelings are all fucking mixed
Always missing people that I shouldn't be missing
Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just to create some distance
I know that I control my thoughts and I should stop reminiscing
But I learned from my dad that it's good to have feelings
When love and trust are gone
I guess this is moving on
Everyone I do right does me wrong
So every lonely night I sing this song

[Hook - Olivia O'Brien and Gnash:]
I hate you, I love you,
I hate that I love you
Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you
I hate you, I love you,
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her

[Bridge - Olivia O' Brien and Gnash:]
All alone I watch you watch her
Like she's the only girl you've ever seen
You don't care you never did
You don't give a damn about me
Yeah all alone I watch you watch her
She is the only thing you ever see
How is it you never notice
That you are slowly killing me

[Hook - Olivia O'Brien:]
I hate you, I love you,
I hate that I love you
Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you
I hate you I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her

**********

Aku tak tahu mana yang lebih sakit.
Mengingati yang diri pernah dipergunakan, atau mengingati diri yang rela dipergunakan.
Aku tak tahu mana yang lebih sakit.
Mencintai orang yang kita tak sayang, mencintai orang yang kita sangka kita sayang, mencintai orang yang tulus sayang kita tapi kita dah emotionally unavailable atau saling mencintai pada waktu yang tidak membenarkan.
Aku tak tahu mana yang lebih sakit.
Berusaha hingga separuh tiang mempertahankan perasaan atau cuba mengadakan perasaan pada saat sungguh kita separuh mati mahu ia ada.
Aku tak tahu mana yang lebih sakit.
Ada tapi tak ada, tak ada tapi terasa ada, atau hanya mengada-ada kan sesuatu yang sendiri tidak tahu tetapi mahu.
Aku tak tahu mana yang lebih sakit.
Tidak pernah bercinta langsung atau sering tetapi tidak kekal.
Aku tak tahu mana yang lebih sakit.
Bercakap dengan tidak mahu atau berdiam tetapi hati begitu mengharap.
Aku tak tahu mana yang lebih sakit.
Dirindui oleh mereka yang tidak dirindui atau merindui pada yang tidak.

Tak tahulah.